Carefree Is Underrated

I have only cried 3 times throughout this process with my Mom. I cried the day she told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I cried when the second surgeon came out at the end of the 12 hour surgery to tell us everything had gone well and that she was waking up. And I cried this past Friday when the oncologist told her she would NOT have to undergo chemotherapy, radiation, or take any anti-estrogen medications. I had not realized the amount of stress and anxiety I had been carrying around. My Mom has been amazing throughout this whole ordeal, not that I would have expected anything less from her. She has been confident, positive, and strong. And because of her attitude, I thought I was handling everything pretty dang well too. But clearly I had a lot of emotions of which I was not fully aware. I have felt lighter and lighter with every step being completed (I have always felt that the unknown is worse than knowing). And with this last bit of news, I felt such relief that I sat and cried at my desk at work for a full 5 minutes before I was able to pull myself together. I had no idea that was even left in me! I have not felt this happy and anxiety-free since August. And it feels incredible.

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